Hey good people! Thank You for the overwhelming feedback and concern about hulkaP! It’s not easy being a young woman who has to study and build her life Hehe. Nonetheless, I have this voice, which I need to use to reach out to the world, and touch a soul.
I discovered a sermon about how to determine who to marry. It was a light bulb moment, needless to say. I got to learn a lot and that’s exactly what I’ll share with you today.
All singles are not necessarily going to get married.
I knoooow, strange right? The pastor talked about this and said if God thinks you will not advance in His kingdom when you’re in a married status then He will call you to a life of singleness.
1st Corinthians 7:1 says now concerning the things thereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Next to accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior, who you marry is the most important decision you’ll ever make in your life. So here are the points you need to consider when choosing who to marry.
1. Salvation/Spiritual Status
2nd Corinthians 6:14-15 says be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness.
Verse 15 says And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel.
There is no such thing as evangelistic dating. He has to be a believer and a growing Christian.
I remember dating a non-believer. He was going to church but we all know that just because they go to church doesn’t mean they were saved. It was hard for me to “lead” him spiritually.
Therefore, both of you should be growing Christians headed in the same direction, not necessarily on the same spiritual level.
Someone may ask, “But how will I know his spiritual status when we are dating?”
The answer is simple. If someone has a walk with God, somehow, someway it’s going to come out. Either they will talk about something God did for them, some scripture or message they read or heard or some prayer God answered. If you are a believer, there has to be some sign somehow. God could have done something to you and you are going to definitely talk about it.
Another thing based on this point is that they should be committed to a local church.
Hebrews 13:7,17 says Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God, whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation.
Verse 17 says Obey them that have the rule over you and submit yourselves, for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief, for that is unprofitable for you.
If someone is not committed to a local church, that is pride and arrogance.
Point is, before going on that first date, you should know the relationship he/she has with Jesus.
2. Parental Blessing
Proverbs 21:1 says The King’s heart is in the hand of the Lord. Like the rivers of water, he turns it wherever he wishes.
“King” is used here to mean a parent/guardian/someone who has authority over your life.
We all know the verse Ephesians 6:1. Children should obey their parents in the Lord.
When choosing who to marry, you would want your parent’s full blessings, you would want their Amen!
3.Hear from God’s Voice
1st Samuel 15:22 says And Samuel said, hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obeying the Voice of the Lord?Behold,to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.
However God communicates with you, ask Him to communicate with clarity. Ask Him to talk to you. Ask him to give you a SIGN!
Signs are confirmations from God. Wherever you are in your walk with God, whatever you need God to do to give you clarity, He will do all it takes to help you understand what you need to do and who you really need to be married to.
4. Prior Marital Status
Matthew 5:31-32, 19:1-12
1st Corinthians 7:10-17
Divorce is a serious issue. I believe one man should be married to one woman in one lifetime!
Therefore, if you’re in such a situation, do search the scriptures about marrying a divorcee. Do not make a decision on how you feel. One day you’ll give an account to God pertaining what you learnt from the scriptures.
5. The “C” Check
Do not marry based on:
- Cars that he has.
- Curves that she has.
- Countenance (cuteness or how handsome he is) Do not put so much focus on external factors. Beauty is only skin deep. Look beyond their external features. Value them for who they are from the inside.
- Cash that they have.
Marry based on:
- Compatibility. Do you have common interests. Focus on life compatibility and not sexually compatibility.
- Character. People don’t change. The way they are before you get married, is how they will be after you get married.
You cannot change them. If they tell lies before you get married, they’ll tell lies after you get married. If they treat you mean before you get married, they’ll treat you mean after. If they treat their parents mean, they’ll do the same thing after you get married. If they do not respect authority before, they’ll not respect authority after.
Sex before marriage will blind you on someone’s true character.
Do not be blinded or infatuated.
This is the ability to practice a skill. Marriage is skill based. Marriage is not hard, it’s hard work.
Does she listen?
Does she give you time to talk?
Does he communicate when he’s hurt?
Does he speak out loud when something is bothering him?
A big part of marriage is communication.
How many children does he/she have? How many do you both want?
- Cash management
- Credit Report.
This is going to tell you if they have a lot of debt, how many liabilities do they have.
This means self-control. Can you sexually control yourself?
There is a season in marriage where sex is off limits.
To the young men, the greatest gift you can give to your fiancée is to demonstrate that you have self control.
Does she know how to cook? 😆😉
If she doesn’t know how cook before you get married, she won’t know after.
If she didn’t keep her room clean before, she won’t keep it clean after.
That’s it you guys! I hope this will be helpful to you and your family, friends or even your sons and daughters. Teach them to choose God fearing partners that will bring Glory to God.
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God bless you!
Love and Love,